The temps are dropping, Warm weather activities are gone. Fireplaces are lighting. Romantic movies are playing. Yall - it’s cuffing season.
Cuffing season is that period of time in the fall and winter when singles link up for a situationship or temporary relationship that lasts until the first spring thaw. This is not a hookup. Rather, this is a consistent lover who gives all the vibes of a real partner without the long-term commitment. Le sigh.
Sounds strange but it is real and it is happening all around you right now. It’s not for everyone but there are a few benefits:
- A consistent, regular sexual partner. This is your boo...for now. And your lover.
- You have someone to put your feet on during a cold night...because this person regularly spends the night.
- You have a plus one to couple or family gatherings. Sure, you’ll have to explain once this person is gone in the spring, but for now, you’re money.
- You fast-track to the cozy state of a relationship. This is purposeful, not gradual.
- During COVID-19, dating multiple people could be bad for your health. Cuffing gives you one bae to focus on.
- While this may not be permanent or deep, it can be comforting and loving.
- If you’re not ready for a real relationship and the work it involves but like the good parts, this might be right up your alley. You have an on-call boo who you can spend quality time with. Like a practice bae.
If you think cuffing might be for you, there is an art to making it joyous.
We’re kinda late in the cuffing draft season but you still have time. Meeting a prospect out in the wild is more challenging right now, because of the Rona. So update your profile on a few dating apps and look for a cutie. Talk to a few guys until you find one that is a good fit. Remember: the person needs to be almost relationship material. Almost. Make sure you don’t accidentally pick up a hobosexual (someone who needs a place to stay) or a complete ass. No, you want someone kind, with good energy, with whom you share common interests, who you like talking to and who you want to get busy with.
Keep your heart in check.
This one is tricky. If this person has all of the above qualities, they might be a keeper, right? If you nodded yes, cuffing isn’t for you. You have to enter this thing with the understanding that this is seasonal. Otherwise, you’re in for heartbreak. There are some cases where cuffing turns into the real thing but more often than not, this is just temporary.
Knowing that this person is just for right now can take some of the pressure off. Be free. Live in the moment. Have a great time without thinking about the future.
Give your friends a heads up.
They need to know that they shouldn’t get attached to this person. Rather, this is just a person passing through your life with the whole purpose of spreading joy. Be careful bringing a cuff buddy around your family, though. Your aunts and cousins are going to ask a lot of questions.
This goes mostly for being honest with yourself. Know what you want and be ok with that. Also, be honest with the other person. If you’re asked directly what is happening, you can say you’re just having a good time. Or that you’re open to the possibilities. No harm, no foul. But don’t be deceptive...that’s not cool.
Cuffing season is not a bad thing. If it’s your thing, own it. Get that big smooch on New Year’s Eve. Just know that by Memorial Day you might be back on the scene.
Cuffing images: HuffPost
“Sure, you’ll have to explain once this person is gone in the spring…”
Printing this out and putting it on my refrigerator!