I’ve been divorced for a few years and despite it being one of the greatest decisions of my life, being without my children for periods of time (as they visit their father) is not something I ever look forward to. My twins and I are super close and the past few years have been an adjustment with the visitation schedule.
I remember our very first Thanksgiving apart. They were sad, I was a hot mess, my parents were worse. It was not what I envisioned for my motherhood journey. When I was married, Thanksgiving was always my husband’s family’s holiday. (My peeps are more of a Christmas bunch.) So now I had to think about how to BE without them there. I think I failed. However, Thanksgiving 2020 will be my third without my wonder twins, and this year I’m going to do things differently - because I don’t want to sit in my sadness, I don’t want my kids to feel bad thinking I am sad, and I don’t want my family and friends to feel sad around me.
Here’s how I will spend my Single Mom Thanksgiving this year:
In the time before the kids head out, we will do our own traditions. We have family holiday photos scheduled so we can get dressed up and capture a few fun moments together. We will do our thankful pumpkins and watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. They will not be home when I start turning our house into a winter wonderland, so we’ll do a little early mini Christmas.
Write a note.
I will write a note to my twins for them to open on Thanksgiving morning. I’ll resist the sounds of the violins and make it upbeat so that they can smile when they think of me on Thanksgiving.
Celebrate with family and friends.
With the Rona going on, getting together won’t look like it has in previous years. But I do plan on going to my parents’ house. We’ve decided to eat a feast - just the three of us - and dress in matching pajamas while watching movies all day. I’m almost certain this will include a post-feast nap. And we’ll call the kids together on FaceTime so they can laugh at us. Afterward, I may swing by my BFF/neighbor’s house for a Thanksgiving libation on her porch. Being around loved ones is important.
Have a date.
Ending the turkey festivus with a nightcap with a boy might be fun. It’s good to have options.
Shop Black Friday sales.
When in doubt, Black Friday sales will keep me busy. I could always use another Christmas tree.
None of this makes up for seeing my goobers’ faces but a little distraction will be good for the soul. And before I know it, my little turkeys will be back home fighting my smooches.
Photo: Thanksgiving 2019